Habit by Repetition

This morning, as I lay in bed, I was recapturing this ODD dream I was having about a man who needed help in his repossession (reclamation, restoration, recovery) business.  I had recommended someone else for the job, but he just kept on telling me about what he needed.  He had it all laid out, i.e., the area I’d work in, the compensation, the benefits, etc. and I still referred him to another person who I deemed to BE better skilled to do the work.  As I laid there I was praying and thinking, “LORD!  Something just doesn’t seem right.  Show me what this is…this THING that I’m feeling this morning.  (Very sluggish) Why is this presence here?”

When I took my Jordan to school today, Josh’s teacher greeted me at the car and said, “Did Josh tell you he passed his test yesterday?”  I, thinking she was talking about the ECA test, told her, “He told me he had to take the ECA test yesterday (in my head thinking, they don’t get those pass or fail status’ right away), but he didn’t tell me he passed.”  She was looking in the back seat to see if he was in the car and I responded to her look, “He’s at home today; not feeling well.  But, I’m praying he gets to feeling better so that he can at least come to school this afternoon and take the other portion of the ECA.”  She replies, “I mean he passed his math test with at 93%.”  We both giggled and cheered him on in his absence as the superintendent watched us with a smile.  This is a big to do for us.  As it is, my Josh is a resuscitated baby and because of such there is a slight disconnect between his hearing and articulation.

When he was diagnosed with CAPD (central auditory processing disorder) and ADHD, I, as a parent, had to BE diligent in making sure he had all the necessary tools to succeed in the classroom, where he spends majority of his time.  Two of the most important tools were my parental advocacy (his wellbeing is my priority) and making sure the teachers were held accountable in doing their part of successfully teaching.  I have REGULAR (like going to the bathroom regular) conversations with his teachers, coaches, and his speech therapist.  I get weekly updates on his and Jordan’s progress, missed homework assignments, test grades, misconduct if there is any, and etc.  They send me emails, text messages; they call me and greet me very heartily in the mornings.  As a parent, it was my intention to establish this kind of relationship with them being that they are imparting into the lives of my sons up to 12 hours a day sometimes.

Anyway, as I was rejoicing over Josh’s victory my prayers had changed.  “LORD, I appreciate the teacher for her attention to my son and her method of teaching.  I’m thankful for her diligence in maintaining her part of our plan.  She was consistent; she was repetitive in reviewing and moving on; recapping again and moving forward; repeating step-by-step and progressing.  She didn’t let him fail.  SELAH!  This is a good morning report!”  In conjunction with this, my son didn’t want to fail so he too had to maintain his part of our plan.  He had to develop a new behavior (habit) that complemented what I and the teacher were doing.  He had to BEcome habitual in his actions of studying; reviewing and recapping; repeating and redoing.  That behavior only comes by way of repetition.”  When I wake up in the morning, I pray.  I don’t go to the bathroom first, or eat breakfast first.  Before I leave my room, I pray for 30 minutes.  This behavior only came by way of diligent repetition.

As I was driving back into town rejoicing and reviewing all the involved components that greeted me this morning, the Holy Spirit presented me the answer to my morning prayer at precisely 7:32 a.m.:  HABIT BY REPETITION!  Many things flooded my mind as I pondered upon those three words.  However, these things resounded:

(1) The LORD YAH is habitual.  His Spirit is chronic (as in long-lasting, always present); consistent unto righteousness.  Even when the LORD does a new thing, the THING is new, but the LORD YAH changes not and the LORD Yeshua is the same yesterday, to day, and for ever.    SELAH!

(2) And, because my confession is that I abide in Him and His Words abide in me, then I too must BE habitual, consistent unto righteousness, in doing A NEW THING!  This new thing for me is called REPOSSESSING.  I must repossess (recover, reclaim, regain, recoup, return to) my good sleeping and resting habits.  I do well for a few weeks, but then my behavior changes and I form a habit of staying up late and getting up early.  This is vain (of no value) and is not righteousness.  My sleep gravely misses me and I’ve been neglecting him.  I’ve not been kind to him; restricting his quality time with me.  The benefits that come with me LETTING sleep rest up on me are considerable.  Sleep!  Forgive  me for abusing you; for depriving you of your time.  Release me from the debt that I’ve brought up on you and myself.  SELAH!

(3) Also, I must repossess (recovery, reclaim, regain, recoup) dominion.  YAH said, LET US make man in OUR image and after OUR likeness; and LET them HAVE (possess and retain) dominion.  The only way for me to REPOSSESS these things is to change my Habit by Repetition!  I must begin a NEW procedure, a NEW routine of living.  The LORD YAH is fulfilling His part of the plan.  When I do my part of the plan, He is not going to LET me fail!

A few hours later, at 10:08 a.m., I was speaking a message and the word I used was translated as Shimano.  This is no mistake!  The Spirit of the LORD is giving me the power to get wealth.  I’ve never said that word before in my life and have never seen that word before.  Regardless, it is a real word and a prosperous word.  I looked it up and Shimano, headquartered in Sakai, Japan, is a multinational manufacturing company of cycling components, fishing tackle, and rowing equipment.  Now, this is the second time my translation has picked up a foreign accent in my voice, and they were two different accents.  With this happening, I know what I must do.  REPOSSESS! © 2015 Angela M. Smith

The Presence of the LORD!

The very first time that the presence of the LORD was mentioned or made known is in Genesis 3:8 i.e. and they HEARD the voice of the LORD WALKING in the garden; and they hid themselves from the PRESENCE of the LORD.  A significant thing I noticed here is the VOICE of the LORD was WALKING.  Adam and Eve HEARD His voice WALKING.  This very thing reminds me of the scores of times that even though we don’t SEE our parents speaking the instructions they have pounded in to us time after time, we can still hear their words, their guidance, and their speech walking around in our heads.  We see them not, but we do HEAR them toddling i.e. walking and treading about our minds; coming up to consciousness.

In this first take, the presence of the LORD was “heard” and “recognized.”  Adam and Eve knew the LORD was there; they hid themselves.  Today, it is intensely insinuated that we only know that the LORD is present BEcause we can FEEL His presence i.e. many worship leaders say phrases like, “Can’t You FEEL His presence?  He is here!”  Hardly ever, if at all, do they say, “Do you hear His voice?  He is here!”  SELAH!  This is not to say that we are not able to feel His presence, but majority of the time we are not feeling the presence of the LORD, we are experiencing feelings or emotions from a situation.  Adam and Eve FELT a certain way and had a particular emotion when they HEARD the voice of the LORD walking.  That emotion was shame; thus, they hid themselves.  IN the BEginning, hearing His voice indicated that He was present.  Also, I do say, in this particular scripture, Genesis 3, that the atmosphere was conducive for the presence of the LORD.

Something was done for Him to make His presence known to them.  What was it?  In this instance, Adam and Eve yielded to the deception of the serpent.  That yielding is what brought about what I call “The Interrogation and Sentencing” (Genesis 3:9-24).  Adam and his wife were not worshipping the LORD when He made His presence known.  They were disobeying Him.  Even Jonah, when he HEARD the voice of the LORD, disobeyed and fled to a place the LORD did not send him.  The scripture didn’t say Jonah felt the presence of the LORD and fled; he heard the voice.  So, based upon this truth, worshipping the LORD is not the only way to the presence of the LORD.  Disobedience is a way too.

As Worship Leaders, those who lead the congregation into a posture of devotion unto the LORD, we can usher in i.e. announce, state, declare, decree, pronounce that the presence of the LORD is amongst us.  This is also bringing an awareness i.e. “I hear the voice of the LORD…He is here!”  SN:  Often, when we do hear the voice of the LORD we will often sing it.  Others of us, who are minstrels will play it; and there are others of us with a scribal anointing who will record it i.e. write it down and/or speak it.  However, each individual parishioner is responsible for hearing His voice and KNOWING that the LORD is present amongst them.  Not just BEcause we said He is, but BEcause they heard His voice.

We, Worship Leaders, are responsible for “leading” the people i.e. guiding them, teaching them, and showing them how to worship the LORD.  Sadly, many worship leaders hassle the people i.e. “C’mon PRAISE the LORD!  How dare you come in to the house of the LORD and not PRAISE Him!  C’mon church; get with us.  This ain’t no dead church.  Look at your neighbor and say, “NEIGHBOR!”  When we do those things, we’re not leading (teaching) the people, we are harassing them.

Those of us who are “The True Worshippers” must and do worship the LORD in Spirit and in Truth.  Any others who desire to BE the true worshippers have to BE taught, just like we were taught.  I’ve heard many ministers say that “worship is a lifestyle.”  If that BE true, and I BElieve that it is, then that lifestyle has to BE taught; it has to BE practiced.  Likewise, I’ve heard some say, “Enter into the presence of the LORD.”  However, entering into the presence of the LORD would BE very difficult to do if a person doesn’t know that the LORD is there i.e. they’ve not heard His voice or don’t even know what His voice sounds like.

© 2012 Angela M. Smith

O Happy Day!

OH MY LORD ~ we’ve had a very fulfilling weekend.  The marriage and relationship session was revelatory.  Burdens of guilt from the past happenings were lifted, and understanding of the present lit up the room when knowledge was embraced.

I spent the entire day with my lads and my love; swung on one of THE BEST swings a woman can swing on – a tire swing roped from a tree (((OMGOSH – EXHILIRATING))); tried a little golf, but ummm, I’ll pass (((chuckling))); I did hit the softball this time, but don’t DARE ask me to play right field!  I would have climbed that tree but this injured back of mine just couldn’t take much more fun.

My Jordan and Josue had driving lessons on 12 acres of land and WOW they did excellent; was glad the battery in the truck was dead or else that land would have BEcome a race track.  We had a good ole’ home cooked delish country meal: chicken and dressing casserole, sweet pea salad, and red raspberry pie with vanilla ice cream.  Thanks Ms. Peggy!

The evening ended by watching Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; a very good family flick.  Thanks Kris for embracing all the challenges I presented today.  You smiled and did well through them all.  I love you sir.

A Wife’s Prayer:  Thank You LORD for giving us life and that more abundantly.  I AM delighted that we “decided” to LET Your Spirit guide us, to lead us to ALL You have prepared for us BEcause we love You.  You ARE the Fountain of Living Waters in our lives; we are eternally grateful.

Results of a Wife’s Prayer:  Daily, she and her household elect to rise up to and hug everything their eyes have not seen, their ears have not heard, and the things that have not entered into the heart of man.  They will never hunger or thirst for anything; fourfold famine will not know their name.  ALLELUIA!

© 2012 Angela M. Smith

He Loves Me AS IS!

While at lunch on Friday, yesterday, a wife came in with her two daughters, her husband, her mother and her husband’s parents.  She needed to change the baby daughter’s diaper and her husband told her to take the other daughter as well to use the potty.  Headed to the bathroom, already, the wife stopped, turned around and firmly exclaimed how she couldn’t take both of them BY HERSELF.  Her tone was loud and demanding, and her look was like, “YOU ARE going to help me!”  I held my head down and whispered to my love that her behavior and speech towards her husband was not acceptable; that she should not speak to him like that (and in public).

I was burning to get to her and stated to him and my lads that I was going in the bathroom to have a talk with this wife.  They nervously laughed and told me not to do it – PLEASE!  My lads were certain that I was going to have one of my “nice and kind conversations.”  So, my love placed his hand on my thigh as a gesture to keep me from getting up, in which I had already pushed my chair back to get up.  He was basically pleading for me to not to go to that bathroom – PLEASE!  I sat there for a moment, but was so compelled to go talk with her.

When I walked in, the baby was on the changing table and I smiled at her and said, “I came in here to give you a hug.”  She smiled back and her face turned red as I hugged her and said, “I noticed the way you spoke to your husband, and I know you’re frustrated, but that shouldn’t BE.  I also have two sons who are 16-months apart and I remember the trying days of seeing after both of them by myself for days and nights and I was married too.”  She very jittery says, “Yes, I am frustrated!  He normally helps me, and it isn’t that I can’t do it by myself I just don’t want to.  His parents are here visiting and he’s been spending a lot of time with them and I’ve been doing this by myself since they’ve been here.  But, my mother came with us today and she is helping me.”  I said to her, while rubbing her back, “It’s good to have a mother’s help, and you need to apologize to your husband AND give him a BIG HUG!”  As I told her that I loved her and gave her another hug, she smiled and said, “I will!”

When we walked out of the restaurant, I told my love what I had said and he smiled at me, chuckled and said, “Ohhh!  Only you can do something like this!”

Truly I AM an advocate for healthy marriages and relationships.  COMMUNICATION!  How we speak to our spouses, in public or not, must BE the speech that will ultimately raise him up and honor him regardless of how frustrated we are.  And sometimes, just sometimes, that language is called SILENCE!  SELAH!  We can BE frustrated or in a funk and still speak with kindness that will draw him in to feel and understand where we are.  We can teach our husbands the philological posture that will help him perceive how to dwell with us according to knowledge.

It is refreshing that my love adores me AS IS, and that he LET me do what I was compelled to do in this incident.  Yeshua was exemplified!  It was what that wife needed to get through the rest of the day without frustration dominating.

© 2012 Angela M. Smith

 

I Am On The Right Path

As I reflect on the past 40-days, I revisited my journal often and I see that much of what I’ve written, spoken, and practiced in years past is now alive in my life.

For example, on September 18, 2011, I wrote this: “Commitment is a powerful position that is not limited [in a relationship] to BEing married.  It starts BEfore the marriage i.e. when you are betrothed or engaged, that is commitment; when you advocate for the relationship to keep it healthy and balanced (even in the dating/courtship stage), that is commitment.  Again, it starts BEfore marriage.  If it didn’t how do you even make a sound decision to marry them?  If he were not committed to me from the BEginning [in both deed and word; to BE faithful in whatever status our relationship is through the maturing process, for the purpose of BEing together unto marriage] then I don’t see myself marrying him.  I can’t marry a man who is not a man of stability in BEing committed” (Smith, Angela M. 2011).

During the time I wrote that, I was preparing for an event at the college I worked at.  Pastor Christine Young and her daughter (don’t remember her name) were decorating the venue and when I walked in the door and had conversations with them, the daughter heard from the LORD concerning my marriage to a Caucasian gent.  Her mother later spoke to me and told me what her daughter had said; how she saw that I was distinctively different than other women of our ethnic posture.  My speech was different; the way I presented myself was different.  Then, in October 2011 I had a dream about a wealthy Caucasian gent pursuing me for marriage.  This gent had salt & pepper hair was very kind and soft spoken, and was strong and sure of his pursuit.

When I had the dream, I didn’t readily remember what the young lady had said, but after telling my mother and my best friend, Holly James, about this dream it all came up to cognizance.  However, as time moved on, I neglected to LOOK for, expect, the manifestation of what I had heard and what I had seen.  This neglect was not willingly done though.  It was carelessly in action due to some major distractions of what I WANTED to do.  I was distracted with who I WANTED to BE loved by.  In the interim, the speech and vision of the LORD left my consciousness above; it left my soul.  And even in doing that, the speech and vision was yet working in the atmosphere, it was alive and drawing me nigh to it.

It all started on May 6, 2012 when I started to experience depression.  It was exceedingly uncomfortable and uneasy, but it was well worth the metamorphic evolution.  This depressed posture was making-me-over and it nearly took me out, AGAIN, both spiritually and psychologically just like it almost took me out 10 years ago.  While enduring all the thoughts that beat up on me, the nights and days I couldn’t sleep, I was yet laborious in what I BElieved.  I BElieved that I would live and not die; that I was coming up out of this sporadic gully that a weighty threefold rain had brought on.  I BElieved that love, unconditional love, would find me and do what it does – love me unconditionally and faithfully.

I BElieved that it would come to pass! 

This was my purging, once more, and I didn’t resist the great need to LET this DEATH come.  Although I had purpose in my hoping, my hope was not equally yoked with sum total purpose.  SELAH!  I was hoping for far too long “knowing” that what I WANTED was keeping at bay the supreme and ultimate good that lay ahead.  Even after I pulled patches of hair out and the other hair just started falling out, I was steadfast to come out victorious.  I had to win through this wait.  I had to.  There was no other ending than winning!

On May 7, 2012, after the lads went to bed, I sat in the dark weeping quietly and uncontrollable and my Jordan, he’s 12 years old, came and sat next to me in the dark and he begin to rub my back.  Yeah…he was rubbing my back just like I rub his when he can’t sleep; just like my mother used to rub my back when I was a little girl and couldn’t sleep.   BEcoming Philippians 4:8 was a task that I had to tackle and stay committed to.  I found myself counting the drip drops of water from the faucet or the chirps of the morning birds or counting in a 1, 2, 3 rhythm.  As it was, sound, any sound that I could count to, was my therapy.  The scriptures and music was my help to keep me focused on what was important:  to live for my children and to BEhold YAH’s promises to me here on earth.

You see, dates are unequivocally essential.  I had nothing to do with happenings in my life on these specific dates, other than the Holy Spirit carrying me through them in the perfect will and time of the LORD’s plan for me.  I had no strength of my own (body, soul, or spirit) in this final phase of healing.  I was dead to this issue and had yielded it, this one last thing that depressed my soul…I yielded it to the will of my Father in Heaven.  ALLELUIA!  OH GLORAY TO GOD.  Thank you Jesus!  My healing from the old BEgin on May 7, 2012; then I met Kris Airgood on June 7, 2012; and we committed ourselves to establishing a healthy relationship on July 7, 2012.

The unbroken number in this 60-day evolution is the number 7, which is the number of divine completeness and perfection.  The Grace of YAH was surely my portion in the 5th month (May); during the 6th month (June), I saw the weakness of man BEcoming healed and whole.  As I think back, I see how I almost aborted my healing due to this weakness; but, like I said BEfore, Kris didn’t give in and he didn’t give up.  He knew the LORD bringing us together was on schedule and I needed his help to see it.  Accordingly, here we are in the 7th month (July) committed to walking completely in favor and healing that only comes from the LORD.

So, on Friday, July 13, 2012, my Holly called and I shared with her the joy of my recent relationship commitment.  As we were sharing, she excitedly brought to memory the dream and word of the LORD that I had neglected.  When she brought it up, my soul sparked with liveliness BEcause Kris is all that I saw in my dream.  That which was already revealed to me in times past has now risen up to my present and is the proof that I am on the right path.

Shalom~

© 2012 Angela M. Smith

“Broken or not, I Love the Glass in My Life

I’m struggling with leaving the broken glass because, to me, even in its broken state I see its value just as when it was not broken.  True the value has decreased, but nonetheless it is valuable.  The labor, the thought, the construction, the production of the glass is all so priceless.  I love that glass, and have indeed hurt myself working with its imperfection condition.

That glass has cut me many times as I long-suffered with it; and it times, it has not harmed me at all.  It has compassionately appreciated me and gave thanks for not giving up, not sweeping it up, and not throwing it away.  I’ve seen the hues of greatness that came peeking through its cracks as we worked at putting it back together…piece by piece, cut by cut.

As it is sometimes, the glass gets weary.  It gets tired of being poked at, maneuvered, and twisted into place to be-come its whole self again.  It wars with the reconfiguration because of ‘The Pain in the Process’ to be what it is.  Selah!  However, until the glass wants to work with me and fully cooperate with me and my love for it [lest I too be-come broken], it is in my best interest to let it [the glass] be what it is – and that is broken, shattered, and in pieces.

When I LET it BE what it IS, that’s when the Master of all glass production steps in.  Every piece is so important to YAH.  Shattered and distributed everywhere, He alone knows where to go and get that one piece to make the glass whole again.

© 2010 Angela M. Smith

New Life Transition: Our Commitment is Our Pleasure!

Just days after being notified that my job was coming to an end, on June 6, 2012 I received a call from Mr. Kris Airgood regarding the boMANi Mentoring Project that I had written for a targeted group of collegiate men.  I recall telling him that my job was ending and I didn’t know what the status of the project would BE.  He asked if he could come to the office and get more information.  Well, I sit in my office all day so I suggested that I meet him at his office.  The next day, June 7, 2012, I met with Mr. Airgood and gave him the project booklet and we started chatting about my knowledge, skills, and abilities and the needs of his company.  So, he asked if I could meet for lunch the next day and I said yes.  On June 8, 2012 we met at Olive Garden and again we chatted more about his company’s needs.  He asked about my current salary and when I told him what it was, he assured me that they wouldn’t BE able to pay me that much.  When he told me how much they could pay me, in my mind I was thinking, “Man, unemployment will probably pay me more than that.  What is a girl to do?”

Halfway through the meal, and a server who was all but OVER SERVING US (like I admire that you are doing your job, but can I get in at least three forks full and two sips BEfore you ask how I’m doing ), just somewhere along this conversation, I noticed that his interest was not just “work” or “mentoring” related.  (((SMILING)))!  He, all nervous and hesitate, finally worked up the courage to say something along these lines, “I don’t know if this is appropriate or not; I don’t know how to ask this.  But you are so cool (he likes to say that word, cool, and this word, fun).  Can we spend time together on outings?”  I said, “Sure!”  I know me, and I still was feeling him out because this wasn’t just a “lunch meeting” anymore you know.  He went on to mention that there was going to BE karaoke at The Loft at 11pm and I told him, “I need to BE coming in at that time BEcause I’m not single…I have children.”  So, anyways, when I got home from this interview, I told my lads, “Umm, I don’t think that job is going to BE a good fit for me BEcause the owner kind of likes mom.  And that is just not a good position to BE in as a worker.”

The next 30-days kept me on my P’s and Q’s (I think that’s how you say that).  As it was, he was conclusive on day two, at Olive Garden, that I was the one for him.  I on the other hand was like, “This IS NOT the purpose God has brought us together.  And I needed to make sure that this…this which he knew…was of the LORD.”  Okay, so how about there were GREEN FLAGS all along the journey and I fought it good and hard those 30-days BEcause of the way it was happening!  (((Chuckling))) LORD, have mercy on me!  I told him often, “I need to go pray!”  And I did that daily BEcause I was feeling all sorts of ways!  I needed to have the reassurance that he was right, and that I was not leaning to my own understanding, and that I was not being condemnatory due to my relationship experiences, and that I was not BEing prejudice against HOW the LORD was bringing to life my heart desires.   SELAH!

There were many behaviors and life’s incidents that he shared with me that I was all too familiar with.  Those things that are what we call “RED FLAGS.”  Nonetheless, those flags did not outweigh the Godly good that I was admiring and they are not flags that we can’t conquer.  Effusively encouraged, I know that we can BE Romans 8:37-38.  The key distinction in all that was familiar to me is that Kris announced his love and what he said was ALWAYS in agreement with what he did.  His words and his deeds were equally bonded and that unfamiliarity, the GREEN FLAGS, was a TITANTIC plus for me.  After I consulted with my mother, my baby sister, Terrie Stone, and my son, Gerald Thomas, I kept right on praying.  I knew in my heart that I couldn’t dismiss all the pleasant attributes that he had; the ones that I fervently desired from the LORD.

We had had several valuable discussions, hearty laughs, quiet moments of disappointments, some lack of understanding one another, some bumpy bumps that brought tears of sadness, hope, and joy all at the same time.  He observed very accurately that I’m a tad “BOSSY” (it’s a pretty BOSSY though) and that I speak with…um, what’s that word he used?  Oh yes, with authority.  Don’t get it twisted though.  I’m not usurping authority over him; I just speak kind and firm in what I know and BElieve and won’t back down from it.  I finally understood why I tried to talk myself out of this; this which I have been preparing for and waiting for these last 10 years.  There was only one reason I could identify during the 30-days, and that reason was the emotion called nervousness.  I was so nervous about actually RECEIVING the desires that the LORD promised me when I BEcame Psalm 37:3-5; not to mention all that inspirations that swelled up in me (you can find them on Facebook).   But Kris?  OMGOSH!  He wouldn’t GIVE IN to my nervousness as he would occasionally say with coolness, “You know we were meant to BE together right?”  I’d answer him, “Is that right?”  That answer has been replaced with, “Yes, I know!”  I’m fully persuaded that 1 John 4:18 was alive BEcause there is no fear in love, and perfect love casteth out fear.  The fear is gone!  SELAH!  Thank the LORD!

July 7, 2012, was the 31st day of our meeting and time of discovering one another (31: the number three is the signature of YAH and the number one means unity.  The signature of YAH is up on this unity.  I have no doubt whatsoever).  It was also on this day, July 7, 2012, that I consulted with my lads (Gerald, Josue’, and Jordan), and my Gerald spoke with Kris in wholesome dialogue with careful instructions about Kris’ attention to me and his brothers.  Josh, Jordan, and I talked about whether we should get an engagement ring or a commitment ring.  I explained the difference to them and my Jordan, who was so happy and couldn’t stop those rosy cheeks from smiling, merrily said to me, “I think you all should take it slow and get a commitment ring since you all have only known each other for 30-days.”  My Josue’ wasn’t sure how to express himself, but after he had talked to Gerald and me, he felt so much better and he too wanted us to go VERY S – L – O – W!  This decision I simply couldn’t make by myself BEcause I am not a single woman.  The results of every decision I make effects more than me; it affects my entire household.  Thus, it was imperative that my lads had a say in their desire for this “New Life Transition” and how they would like for it to happen.  We will all go through and make our choices together.

So, here we are in Kay’s Jewelers and I don’t know the first thing about purchasing a ring.  All I know is that I know what I like.  While browsing about like a little girl in a candy store (Kris is always telling me about that ‘dere candy store) I say to Kris, “Umm you never said how much I can spend?”  He replies by shrugging his shoulders, and slightly tilting his head at the same time, and says, “It doesn’t matter.”  (((In my Buck Wheat voice))) OOOO-TAY!  So, hmmm…how about I’m not real good at making decisions in a candy store you know (((smiling))).  Just as we were about to purchase one of the ones I liked but didn’t REALLY like, Kris says, “You REALLY like the other one don’t you?  I like it too BEcause it sparkles more.”  Well, of course I REALLY liked the other one, but I was very…what’s that word again…NERVOUS about the cost even after he said cost didn’t matter.  SIDENOTE:  I need to write about this i.e. cost isn’t an issue BEcause she is far above rubies!  Well, I got just what I wanted; what I REALLY liked best and it was his kind joy to show his love for me.  I receive!

Our Commitment is Our Pleasure:  Kris and I are committed to (1) establishing a healthy relationship with one another in a Godly manner, (2) diligently and gently acknowledging areas that we can individually and collectively improve in, and working our faith to perfect those parts, (3) understanding one another by asking questions and not by making assumptions, (4) speaking words of life that will build one another up threefold and not tear down, and (5) discovering the needs of our children and grandchildren through this transition so that they are smoothly progressing with us as family!

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